Hypothetically..

Hypothetically..

Say I have a friend..

So say there was..

etc.

 

I was wondering last night [very randomly..] about this. For some reason I found it funny how hypotheticals really never are completely imaginary. Half the time people don’t have that friend..

It doesn’t help that the ‘Hypothetical’ joke has been played out in movies and tv shows so much that no one really takes you seriously in real life. Before you even get to your question or comment the person writes it off as real.

But what if it really IS hypothetical?! Say you really do have that friend?! And now they not only not take you seriously but now believe the story you need advice about is all about you. How frustrating..

 

 

The aversion to change.

I’m not sure if it is a generational trait or an American one in general, but there are many who are afflicted with this aversion to change. And I wonder why.

Why don’t people change up their routines? Or dream big and bigger?

Why do people settle down so young? Or so early? Or at all?

Why don’t people travel and travel..see everything there is to see?

I assume from all of the future plans told from the mouths of many of my young peers, they do plan on traveling and experiencing many different things. But they all speak of their plans as if there is some expiration date. College until about 22 years old, travel til 23, grow up and get a career at 25, family and a house at 30, and so on..

For me, and it’s been a slow process to convince myself, I believe I will never stop traveling, moving, changing myself, searching, learning. It is against the grain, and growing up in a tight, socially conformed household it was not easy to convince myself, as I said before, that my dreams were possible.

I do also agree that this dream is shared by many, many people young and younger, old and older. But few, if any, chase it. [I do not count vacations to the Caribbean in the category on traveling, although most lie to themselves and count it anyway.]

All I’m trying to say is I value experience and experiences very highly, be they uncomfortable, different, delightful, tasty, alarming, or vivid. None of these can be found consistently if you ground yourself emotionally, mentally, or physically in one place.

Over the years I’ve slowly broadened my mind. Broadened the definition of beauty, normal, and youth. I’ve redefined my value systems and embraced the difference for which I seek in myself and all that is outside myself.

If this defines crazy and out-there for you, then that is what this is. But if it defines spiritual, open-minded, and wandering then that is what this is.

this will be my life.

 

The Hangover

Nope, not the movie.. my life as of right now.

Yes, I went out last night. My Friday night should have been a dud since all three goings-ons that I was informed of mostly fell through. The parties just were not parties. False advertising for college parties should be outlawed, asap.

At the risk of sounding too college-party-girl on you guys, I’ll slightly change the subject.

The morning after breakfast. Nothing short of a life saver. Prepare yourselves: A freshly made [by myself.] jumbo waffle with butter and syrup and a dollop of whipped cream then tater tots and vegan sausage followed by an orange topped off with an egg and cheese sandwich on a bagel.

You’d think I feel guilty right now? Psh, well I don’t. As much as I’ve been trying to take care of my body for health lately, sometimes you just have to enjoy the greasy, carbs and the sugary sweets and forget about the bad [which is easy to do when you've got a buffet brunch at your cafeteria on the weekends].

I think I am too pooped for a repeat wine-fest tonight, though. Not only because I have boat loads of homework to accomplish but also I am tired and need to catch up on sleep! And to tell you the truth around this time of year I get sick of the going out/party scene.

Anyways, my agenda for the rest of today will tentatively consist of resting/napping, netflix, starting on homework, dinner, and homework.

Sunday will not be The Hangover II, I can promise you that… :p

Getting It Done

In these many weeks behind and ahead of me, my classes have piled on the homework. I’d say i absolutely hate it, except for the fact that their actually keeping me busy. Sometimes at a liberal arts college you can get swept up in the hype of others who claim it is not up to par with other schools or that the course loads are never challenging.

Well, I’m definitely being challenged. Challenged at time-management, mostly. Getting to the library, reading assignments, and also having some sort of social life are main components of this girls time now..

Exciting; Later this evening [8pm] I’m going with a few friends to see my school’s production of RENT. It just so happens to be free. Hopefully it is semi-entertaining and incorporates semi-talented individuals because I need a solid break from my studies.

I mean, I have been in the library since 2pm today, and although I’m breaking for dinner as we speak, I’m coming right back until its showtime.

As much as I love my lazy days, I also love a good productive day, too!

Side note: I’ve been getting enough sleep lately but am waking up still sleepy and stay that way all day. I don’t understand this since I’m going to bed early around 9p or 10p and wake up around 7p to 9p.. Any hints as to what I could do differently?

Sincerely sleepy head ;]

The Groggy Nap

You slug around your day. Slowly writing off your responsibilities and personal obligations. It starts snowing and you walk slower to every building and listen less in every class. So, you decide with your brilliant decision-making skills to take a nap.

You don’t put a cap on how long it will be and so you embark on your nap.

All is well, the room is dimmed low and your very comfy indeed. You lull away to sleeptimes with no intention of coming back.

UNTIL..you wake up. You may not know where you are. If any alarm was set it thus become the most confusing device in history to shut off. You may not know what day you are in.

THIS ladies and gentlemen, is the Groggy Nap.

The nap gets it’s name from not only the groggy mood you wake up in but also how you will feel for the remainder of the day. Grumpiness and sluggish behaviors are also common side effects.

It most likely happens because you’ve taken a nap longer than your body planned and it figured “Hey, guess we’re done until tomorrow!” when in fact, no body we’re not!

As you can imagine by now, I indeed fell victim to the Groggy Nap today between the hours of 1ish and 4ish, precisely. ;]

I woke up a bit angry at nothing, completely confused about the reason I was up, and still very exhausted and could have slept my life away until tomorrow morning if it were not for dinner.

I guess you could say dinner saved me today, got me up, got me fed..

Until the next my fellow bloggees, beware the pitfalls of too much too fast.. ;]

BIG day

Today is a big day. Not because of any sort of events taking place.. but because I feel huge..

anti-climatic, I know. But I do. Just sayinng.

So the story goes, I ate and ate and ate yesterday, and am feeling the bloated after effects of said eating today.

It makes me sad, because I’m supposed to be on this diet. But then it hits me that I really don’t care, and I’ll just eat right today, and be on track once again!

It’s a beautiful warmish day in New England, how could I let a little thing like not really being able to move hold me back?

in other news, I watched a pretty amazing film called Beyond Borders with Angelina Jolie and Clive Owen. Surprising and very poignant. I loved it, and I’m a harsh movie critic.. so go watch it.. :]

OH, Happy St. Patrick’s Day!! :]

 

Like any other rainy day.

I woke up, slightly hungover from last night’s festivities. I actually saw some high school people for a St. Patty’s party. I hadn’t seen some of them in maybe 2 years. Nothing, thank goodness was awkward. Just silly.

So yes, I woke up, slightly on my death bed, but freshened up with some scrambled eggs on toast (a breakfast I could eat nonstop until I die probably.). Then went for it on the treadmill, showered off, dried up and dashed to the mall with my mom.

We ended up as we always do (in Barnes and Noble.) reading magazines and watching the raindrops fly past us.

rainy day.

 

After an hour or two, I wasn’t really counting.. we gathered up and bee-bopped home, to a quiet and slightly chilly house.

When most people lament a dampened afternoon, i think these days are full of charm. The chill lets me get my comfiest in an over-sized sweatshirt, my coziest blanket, and watch my favorite movies. The only time I may lament along with the huddled umbrella-ed masses is if (god forbid) I have to trudge through it, doing things I don’t like. (errands, going to work, you know the deal..)

but when it’s just me and my tea. a quiet, lazy house. a buzzing storm of droplets pinging the window. i just couldn’t say I mind. I don’t mind it at all.

-shauna

i’ve been – M.I.A.

cheeseball.

I don’t want to explain my reasons for being missing. Not because my life is that dull. Just that there have been so many twists and turns, so many ins and outs, so many cliched heres and theres, you’d get lost as you went through it all.

I am astounded though, and oh so delighted that people have stuck with my bloggings and ramblings. I hope not just because they don’t manage their subscriptions, but because they were hoping and praying that I would come back! (Ha. of course..)

So, I’m a lot happier than when I left this blog last. It’s little under a year after transferring to MCLA, and I’ve met people and lived things that have revived me, sustained me, enlivened me. I’m a whole new person, hopefully for the better.

Soo, off I go. (again.)

Come along for the ride, will you?

:]

Run, Run, Run Away.

I’m going to get straight to the point. I want to run away and live in the wilderness. I would live off the earth and survive. I want to get away from any societal boundaries or ties. Right now, it sounds like heavan!

But where would I go? And more importantly what would I eat? I’ve never really camped before, never eaten off of the land. I’ve never thoroughly thought it out because I wouldn’t know where to start! Ideally I’d want to have a small home, like a cabin. I’d just live there, and be.

I know it’s different, but I’m sick of being the same.

Any wisdom?

-S

Reality Check!

the Hills

As I’m sitting here pondering several different things, I realize it is 10pm on a Tuesday. Where does that leave me? Well, on my couch watching the Hills and soon after the City.

I‘m guessing most girls out there agree(some guys too?), that the guiltiest of guilty pleasures here lies with the nitty and very gritty reality shows. Do we love them for their voyeuristic qualities, the gossip, the constant scandal? (yes to all three anyone?) Can we really believe all they put in front of us?(uhh, NO) But we keep coming back for more!(..and more, and MORE)

So let’s think about this. We set aside an hour for silly, meaningless entertainment that gives us a little break from our lives. Could there be a serious downside? (like mush for brains?)

Well, I hope not. I can never produce a solid explanation for my interest in all these reality shows. Would I miss them if they all mysteriously left every network? Um, no actually. Will I ever remember the names of these people over time, definitely not.

Hm. Why do I like something I don’t respect. Ha, whatever. They are guilty pleasures for a reason, we know we shouldn’t watch but watch anyway. If we stopped it wouldn’t be life-changing but probably very good for us.(and good for our sense of reality) I’m sure none of us really believe the false reality, we just can’t turn away from the train wreck.

Night,people.

-S

How can my life fit into boxes?

Boxes

I’ve packed my freshman life away. All my posters and pictures, shoes and clothes, hair stuff and underwear.

What a year it has been, with all its ups and downs.

Summer

No doubt this past year has changed me, head to toe. Not only has my style refined, but so has my mind. I know what to cut out of my life and what to keep in it. I owe a lot to the lessons I’ve learned, however hard they were to take at the time.

I’m adopting a no B-S policy for my life, mainly this summer though. I need to wind dowwwwnn. I need to relax and unwind my poor body and brain. This no B-S policy applies to my friends and family(sisters!). If my friends are going to make drama out of making plans or anything else, they can consider me OUT. If my sisters are going to be evil little things, they can consider me DONE.

It sounds harsh, perhaps. But I’m at my wits end with people! The whole lot of them! No, I’m not going to rash on people whenever I want, I’m going to stay my calm, easy-going self but just going to be more bold and stand up for myself when needed.

I think in the end, people are going to respect me more. I’ve been too nice, WAY TOO NICE! And people either walk all over me or push me around. If someone challenges me, I’m going to finish the fight.

Goals for Summertime

• Happiness
• Camp on the Beach
• Go to the Beach, alot.
• Work, alot!
• Get a bicycle. I want to ride it to work! Save the earth and all..
• Go on adventures(hiking, road trips, hot air balloon festival?)
• Campfires, sleep overs(stay at a friend’s for days!)

What are your goals for Summertime?

‘To Be Continued’ is no longer a possibility.

I am at the top of my game. The game of procrastination that is. Silly you, you must have thought I was being productive at something. Of course this isn’t the case. I have a final paper due today, for English. I just can’t muster up the strength to BEGIN.

Hence the title of this post, I can no longer put this off!!

You are witnessing a pivotal moment for me. Not necessarily a good one. You might want to turn away, actually.

Okay, jeez. You’ve convinced me! I’ll take a whack at this paper. Just to see what happens, you know everyone loves a little suspense! I can’t make any such promises about finishing, or anything, but I’ve got to try. I understand it’s the final, but I’ve only got 3 days left of my freshman year. It’s mighty hard to touch fingertips to the keys of my laptop when the breezes of freedom are wafting my way.

Procrastinators raise your fists in the air! Raise them high. Let’s start a movement(of some sort)!!

Hmm, off I go.

-S

-UPDATE- I actually finished and passed in my final paper. You proud?

We’re All Just Breakable Girls and Boys.

Sometimes on the way to finding what you want, you have to lay out what you don’t want. I currently know I don’t want what I call a  ’traffic light life’. Ya, okay I made it up, but whatever bare with me. I don’t want a routine, EVER! Like surprises and different routes and spontaneity should be my norm. I don’t want to always know what my next move is all the time. I don’t want stop, go, slow down, stop, go, slow down, and so on.

What do I know I want right now? I want to grow out my hair. I want to healthify my diet(possibly go vegetarian). I want to get through the next few days until my summer. I want to eventually move to California or Arizona, maybe after college.

Little steps first, then bigger, then bigger. That’s the way to do it, I’m thinking.

So my immediate few minutes really need some inspiration, some serious determination to get to work. I’ve been procrastinating like I always do. Despite my best efforts and intentions, I persist in my ineffectuality. Is it this generation who is so slow to get down to business, or is it just me? I feel like we procrastinate like no other.

Just some thoughts of the day..

-S

The Last Days

If you were a soap opera what would your name be?

That question just popped into my brain as I was typing, and it seemed legitimate. My name would be The Private Lives of Shauna Lee. Very dramatic I know.

So, anyway. That wasn’t what I came on here to tell you at all. What I meant to talk about was the fact that my days here in Boston are limited, fleeting, flimsy. The countdown to the end of my freshman year and beginning of a hopefully glorious summer has begun. The days remaining, you ask? 10 more days. They are going to FLY.

Before I know it, I will be packing the very boxes I unpacked months ago. I will go back home and join the family dynamic once again. I will work my but off, willingly. It will all become a simple, uncomplicated rhythm once again.

I can’t say I have enjoyed my freshman year, but I’ve taken steps to ensure this experience will never be replicated. I am transferring and will be leaving this university, never to step back on this campus again. I won’t miss anyone and no one is going to miss me. I can’t say I won’t miss this lovely city, the only one who has embraced me fully. I’ll miss the jagged walkways and pretty foliage of the Commons, I’ll miss the old brownstones and my walks to the Charles river, I’ll miss the rain, the snow, the sun. Most of all I’ll miss the time I’ve wasted being secluded, the happiness that the people surrounding me have taken and suppressed within me, the days where my bed was my abode. I have many acquaintances but no dear friends, and that is a sad thing.

I am done with being in denial, and haven’t been for months. I’ve confronted my anguish head on and am proud of myself for making necessary changes. If only I had made them sooner.

The light is shining brightly in my direction once again, and I can’t tell you how long I’ve waited for its timely arrival.

I’m going to finish my studies and end with a bang, hopefully leaving with high marks and a huge sigh of relief. I’ve done it, it’s finally over, I will soon breath much easier.

-S

come and open up your folding chair next to me..

Happiness is never stopping to think if you are.

-Palmer Sondreal

That is what I want for my entire life. When you’re sad/depressed you count the seconds until you aren’t anymore. But being in such a blissful state, there’s no need for a clock to remind you of what you are.

It’s hard sometimes to keep your head up, but once you look around it isn’t so bad.

Listen Up! .. some good (&happy) songs for yah!

• Bottle It Up – Sara Bareilles
• Float On – Modest Mouse
• Fade Into You – Mazzy Star
• Folding Chair – Regina Spektor

Just a Thursday. JUST A THURSDAY?!

The world is a strange place.

The wicked get ahead while the nice people get pushed down. CRAZY.

- – -

Tell me what you think people : )

I don’t think I like time.

and I don’t think it likes me.

Why should it like me I waste it every day like it’s nothing. I don’t like it cause it runs out too fast, but maybe that’s cause it doesn’t want to get used up.

I’m just reminiscing on the last 10 days of my vacation, being the 10th day and all. I’ve never liked the ‘last day’. It’s just annoying. Suffice to say, I had a pretty swell time here. My only mission was to get some sun into my skin, which I did, so I should have nothing else to say! But I do: Boo, school! Ha, no I don’t reallly hate school that much it’s just how you always feel after you’ve been able to lounge and relax for  little over a week. Doesn’t help that I have a paper already due Tuesday, so that will be my day tomorrow after I get off the plane and settled into my home away from home;Boston.

I’ll probably be reading a whole ton more in the next weeks to come, since I’ve rediscovered how much I enjoy a good book. So I’ll be recommending books galore, which you should take very seriously! ; ) But really, I don’t like just anything. You’d know this if you’ve ever been to a movie with me. Just because I spent ten bucks on the thing doesn’t mean I have to like it.

TANGENT If I could live in a movie theater, I would. If I could be a movie reviewer, I would. I. Love. Movies.TANGENT OVER ; )

So ya, recommendations from yours truly, may become a staple. Maybe even a few of us could start up a Summer Reading Group/Club/Thing? (Sounds fun to me! Comment if you’d be interested, I’d probably start it up on a different blog? <3 )

Your Loyal Blogger Friend,

-S

Bye,Baby

I'm on a TRAIN

How is everyone’s Saturday? I’m currently leaving(slightly reluctant) a beeeutiful day in the Bean, to go visit my Aunt,Uncle, and cousins in nearby Peabody. (not reluctant to see them, but I just don’t like wasting sunshine in the city, you know what I mean..)

Oh, did I mention I’m taking a train?(see picture)

It’s so old school but I love it.

I’m so excited that the seasons have clicked, and Spring will soon be going at full speed. SICK of coldness..

I’m going to have to cut this post short since my Mac-a-Doodle is getting low on battery.. Have a nice Saturday people!! : )

What Would JC Do?

Nope, not Jesus Christ. Jose Cuervo.

Jose

Two very large shots of my buddy Jose and a vodka cranberry, and I was gone. (I haven’t drank in awhile, gimmie a break!) Apparently Jose Cuervo would leave the club, alone, and find a nice building to sit at for 30 minutes or so, then walk home, alone. Now this may have been a good idea to Jose, being that he’s a a guy, I’m assuming. But, I’m not a guy, and I’m damn lucky I live in probably the safest part of Boston I’ve ever seen.

I went out last night, yes it was a Thursday. But how can that account for seeing almost no one out on the streets? I figured once the sun goes down, the bad guys come out? Or at least that’s what everyone tells you. But when I was sitting, wherever the hell I was sitting, I saw barely anyone. I was half expecting a gang to walk by, spot me, and do who knows what. But I sat there and walked home without a hitch.

It was kinda beautiful, walking the town under the street lights, so romantic. If only cities could come to life, then I could marry Boston, live happily ever after.

Listen Up!

listen to this Ke$ha song-Take it Off

here’s the YouTube link for it: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RpFMuBHxGWs

don’t know about anyone else, but I’m lovin’ Ke$ha’s music, and love her look too!!

-S